Say What?

Do you ever think about what you talk about?  About the words that are coming out of your mouth.  As Chris Tucker said in that movie, “Can you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?”  Sometimes, it not as much about understanding the words that are coming out of our mouths, but the fact that certain words shouldn’t be coming out of our mouths in the first place.  Especially if we are Christians.

I’m not talking about obvious foul language, that’s a no brainer.  What I’m talking about is knowing when to speak and when to be quiet.  What to say when is a finely honed skill.

Proverbs has a lot to say about our mouths, in Proverbs 15:1 for example it says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”  This means that we need to think before we speak.  When someone says something hurtful to us, we cannot just have a knee jerk defensive reaction to their statement.  More than likely if we do that, the comment that we have will be cutting and will escalate the situation stirring up the spirit of dissension.

Have you ever noticed that when people are angry that the feeling seems to hop from one person to the other like it is alive?  That’s because in a way it is.  It is so difficult to remember that in the heat of battle that we are in a war.  A spiritual war, you are not actually fighting with the person you are confronting.  You are dealing with the spirit that is on them, and they are doing the same.  Those spirits that are getting you to go at each other are laughing hysterically as they get you to tear each other to shreds verbally at the least, sometimes physically in worst case scenarios. It also builds hostile feelings towards one another and essentially causes you to sin in your anger.

The next verse in Proverbs 15 says, “The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.”  This could have to do with business dealings, but it can also be about the previous argument.  If you take the gentle answer road than you will also input knowledge into the situation which will help to diffuse the whole chaotic mess before it gets started. 

However, if you take the harsh word low road, than you will be gushing out stuff that is just harmful folly.  Saying hurtful and nasty things to the other person just to try and one up them or get them to shut up and leave us alone. 

The high roads requires patience and self-discipline.  To keep from spouting off at the other person you have to listen to what they are saying and really hear what is bothering them.  They may have a legitimate complaint, regardless of how much they may just be a “complainer”.  This time it might be something “real”, but how will you know if you don’t listen?  If you immediately go into “self-defense” mode than you won’t hear the most important part of their conversation, what is really on their mind.  “He who listens to a life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise.  He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding.” (emphasis mine) Proverbs 15:31-32.

It doesn’t matter the source, you never know who God may use to get a message through to you.  What matters is that you listen to the message before responding.  Jesus showed us the example of not defending ourselves when He allowed Himself to be falsely accused.  “Are You the king of the Jews?” asked Pilate.  “Yes, it is as you say,” Jesus replied.  The chief priests accused Him of many things.  So again Pilate asked Him, “Aren’t You going to answer?  See how many things they are accusing You of.”  But Jesus still made no reply, and Pilate was amazed.” Mark 15:2-5 (Emphasis mine)  He could have pled His case, He could have performed miracles to prove who He was, yet He did what God told Him to do…nothing.  He used wisdom no matter how “unwise” it may have seemed to the world.  Yet, God does not use our method of thinking or reasoning.  He sees the beginning from the end.  He knew that Jesus had to die to save us from our sinfulness.  This was the only way.  We only see the circumstance in front of us, and react to it.  This is why we must listen to the Holy Spirit’s “intervention” when confrontations arise and respond accordingly, as He directs.

Here are a few scriptures to think about:

“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:9

“Brothers, do not slander one another.  Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it.  When you judge the law, you  are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it.  There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the One who is able to save and destroy.  But you – who are you to judge your neighbor?”  James 4:11-12

“The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the  parts of the body.  It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.”  James 3:6

What we say can do so much harm.  The bible refers to the tongue as a double-edged sword.  Satan knows this and if he can get you to use it against others it is a wondrous thing to him.  Words have so much power, and once spoken cannot be unspoken.

Think about it, what are prayer and incantations or spells made up of?  Words, spoken words.  That is how much power they have.  This is why it is so important that we are very careful with this extremely powerful weapon that we have and we do not just take it for granted.  Too often we act like a bunch of 5 year olds with automatic weapons that are fully loaded, that have no safeties and hairpin triggers.  Running around shooting anyone within earshot with our verbal bullets.  As Christians we have the responsibility to be careful with this powerful weapon so we don’t inadvertently hurt someone.

The way we can assure this, is that we treat everyone with the mercy, love and grace that we received from Christ and the Father when they forgave us our sins.  “Do not judge, and you will not be judged.  Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned.  Forgive, and you will be forgiven.  Give, and it will be given to you.  A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap.  For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”  Luke 6:37-38 

It comes down to the key to controlling our mouths, and making sure that nothing ugly and unrighteous comes out of it is having a loving, forgiving, and merciful spirit at all times.  The Holy Spirit is that spirit, let Him lead and guide your mouth, turn it over to Him and your speech will always be glorifying to the Lord.

From Light for my Path – Prayers & Promises

Sometimes, Lord, training merely makes me feel bad because after learning what I should do, I realize that I fall far short of perfection.  For example, to communicate well, I should listen first.  But rather than listening, I am sometimes merely exercising patience while waiting to talk.  I should be attentive with my whole mind and body, and I should exchange ideas as well as words.

Father, please help me use my best listening skills when I come before You.  Give me the patience to wait for Your message.  Help me not be so anxious to put what I consider urgent matters before You first.  May I tune in to You with my mind and heart.

In Jesus name,

Amen.