Say What?

Do you ever think about what you talk about?  About the words that are coming out of your mouth.  As Chris Tucker said in that movie, “Can you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?”  Sometimes, it not as much about understanding the words that are coming out of our mouths, but the fact that certain words shouldn’t be coming out of our mouths in the first place.  Especially if we are Christians.

I’m not talking about obvious foul language, that’s a no brainer.  What I’m talking about is knowing when to speak and when to be quiet.  What to say when is a finely honed skill.

Proverbs has a lot to say about our mouths, in Proverbs 15:1 for example it says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”  This means that we need to think before we speak.  When someone says something hurtful to us, we cannot just have a knee jerk defensive reaction to their statement.  More than likely if we do that, the comment that we have will be cutting and will escalate the situation stirring up the spirit of dissension.

Have you ever noticed that when people are angry that the feeling seems to hop from one person to the other like it is alive?  That’s because in a way it is.  It is so difficult to remember that in the heat of battle that we are in a war.  A spiritual war, you are not actually fighting with the person you are confronting.  You are dealing with the spirit that is on them, and they are doing the same.  Those spirits that are getting you to go at each other are laughing hysterically as they get you to tear each other to shreds verbally at the least, sometimes physically in worst case scenarios. It also builds hostile feelings towards one another and essentially causes you to sin in your anger.

The next verse in Proverbs 15 says, “The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.”  This could have to do with business dealings, but it can also be about the previous argument.  If you take the gentle answer road than you will also input knowledge into the situation which will help to diffuse the whole chaotic mess before it gets started. 

However, if you take the harsh word low road, than you will be gushing out stuff that is just harmful folly.  Saying hurtful and nasty things to the other person just to try and one up them or get them to shut up and leave us alone. 

The high roads requires patience and self-discipline.  To keep from spouting off at the other person you have to listen to what they are saying and really hear what is bothering them.  They may have a legitimate complaint, regardless of how much they may just be a “complainer”.  This time it might be something “real”, but how will you know if you don’t listen?  If you immediately go into “self-defense” mode than you won’t hear the most important part of their conversation, what is really on their mind.  “He who listens to a life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise.  He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding.” (emphasis mine) Proverbs 15:31-32.

It doesn’t matter the source, you never know who God may use to get a message through to you.  What matters is that you listen to the message before responding.  Jesus showed us the example of not defending ourselves when He allowed Himself to be falsely accused.  “Are You the king of the Jews?” asked Pilate.  “Yes, it is as you say,” Jesus replied.  The chief priests accused Him of many things.  So again Pilate asked Him, “Aren’t You going to answer?  See how many things they are accusing You of.”  But Jesus still made no reply, and Pilate was amazed.” Mark 15:2-5 (Emphasis mine)  He could have pled His case, He could have performed miracles to prove who He was, yet He did what God told Him to do…nothing.  He used wisdom no matter how “unwise” it may have seemed to the world.  Yet, God does not use our method of thinking or reasoning.  He sees the beginning from the end.  He knew that Jesus had to die to save us from our sinfulness.  This was the only way.  We only see the circumstance in front of us, and react to it.  This is why we must listen to the Holy Spirit’s “intervention” when confrontations arise and respond accordingly, as He directs.

Here are a few scriptures to think about:

“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:9

“Brothers, do not slander one another.  Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it.  When you judge the law, you  are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it.  There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the One who is able to save and destroy.  But you – who are you to judge your neighbor?”  James 4:11-12

“The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the  parts of the body.  It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.”  James 3:6

What we say can do so much harm.  The bible refers to the tongue as a double-edged sword.  Satan knows this and if he can get you to use it against others it is a wondrous thing to him.  Words have so much power, and once spoken cannot be unspoken.

Think about it, what are prayer and incantations or spells made up of?  Words, spoken words.  That is how much power they have.  This is why it is so important that we are very careful with this extremely powerful weapon that we have and we do not just take it for granted.  Too often we act like a bunch of 5 year olds with automatic weapons that are fully loaded, that have no safeties and hairpin triggers.  Running around shooting anyone within earshot with our verbal bullets.  As Christians we have the responsibility to be careful with this powerful weapon so we don’t inadvertently hurt someone.

The way we can assure this, is that we treat everyone with the mercy, love and grace that we received from Christ and the Father when they forgave us our sins.  “Do not judge, and you will not be judged.  Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned.  Forgive, and you will be forgiven.  Give, and it will be given to you.  A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap.  For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”  Luke 6:37-38 

It comes down to the key to controlling our mouths, and making sure that nothing ugly and unrighteous comes out of it is having a loving, forgiving, and merciful spirit at all times.  The Holy Spirit is that spirit, let Him lead and guide your mouth, turn it over to Him and your speech will always be glorifying to the Lord.

From Light for my Path – Prayers & Promises

Sometimes, Lord, training merely makes me feel bad because after learning what I should do, I realize that I fall far short of perfection.  For example, to communicate well, I should listen first.  But rather than listening, I am sometimes merely exercising patience while waiting to talk.  I should be attentive with my whole mind and body, and I should exchange ideas as well as words.

Father, please help me use my best listening skills when I come before You.  Give me the patience to wait for Your message.  Help me not be so anxious to put what I consider urgent matters before You first.  May I tune in to You with my mind and heart.

In Jesus name,

Amen.

Emotionally Connected

If you have ever watched a toddler you have seen that throughout the day they go through a large range of emotions.  Happiness, anger, fear, sadness, joy, elation, boredom, irritability, you name it.  They let each and every one show too.  As we get older we are taught to not show these.  In other words, hold it in and “act” like an adult.

As I have continued to study the Psalms, I have noticed an amazing trend.  David, the person that God said was a man after His own heart was a man of great emotion.  He didn’t always show those emotions to the world at large, but he did show them to his heavenly Father.  He cried, a lot.  A grown man, who was a great leader of an entire nation, cried. 

One of the first things little boys are taught is not to cry.  Big boys and real men don’t cry, right?  Except, if the Bible is correct and we Christian believe it is, crying is a natural and right thing for us all to do.  That includes men.  We are to cry, literally, to our Father when things are not as we would like.  Now, this doesn’t mean that we act like spoiled brats and stomp our feet and pout and moan and groan when we don’t get our way.  I’m speaking about when we are walking in righteousness and obedience and we are being thwarted at every turn.  This is when we have to fall to our knees and literally cry for help if that is what we our “feeling” at that moment. 

The Holy Spirit guides us in our conversation with God.  He is our emotional connection with Him.  The only thing that would keep us from doing so would be a spirit of pride.  Pride is the thing that says we cannot let anyone, not even God see who we are or what we are feeling.  Yet, what are we really hiding from Him?  He sees everything that we are and all that we are feeling is like an open book to Him, no matter how hard we try to hide it.  The only one we are fooling is ourselves when we hold it in.  Not only are we fooling ourselves, but we are also hurting ourselves because holding all that stuff in causes ailments and diseases like ulcers and possibly even cancer.

In Psalm 56:8, David clearly states his emotions, “Record my lament; list my tears on Your scroll – are they not in Your record?” (italics mine)  This is the NIV translation.  The Amplified Bible says it like this, “You number and record my wanderings; put my tears into Your bottle – are they not in Your book?”  David was very sure that God was aware of how he felt about all things.  He knew where he went and what his feelings were about his travels and how he was treated by friend and foe.  He knew that there was no point in trying to hide it from his Creator, so why do we?

The other thing, is that God does not start moving in the situation until we do come to Him and lay it at His feet.  When we let it go, and humble ourselves.  When we stop trying to pretend we can handle it all ourselves.  Only then will He move His hand and start to resolve it.  It may not be the way we would think it should be, but we do not know what the entire situation is that He is working.  What may seem like a bad thing at the moment, may have a much greater outcome due to that particular situation.  It may be something as simple as the learned patience and perseverance we gained from going through it holding His hand the whole way through.

Do you truly want to be connected with our Father?  Than put down your guard.  Strip the pride from your heart, and confess to God what you are feeling.  Let the tears flow.  Whether you are male or female, it does not matter.  With God there is no gender.  According to Galatians 3:28, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”  So, if that is the truth than what does the statement “Real MEN, don’t cry”, mean to God?  Absolutely nothing.  Real children of God, followers of Christ, do cry, do show their emotions when they are communing with their Father.  The operative part of that statement is “children”.  You see we are never referred to as tweens of God, teens of God, young adults of God, or even adults of God.  We are always CHILDREN, which means it’s okay to act like a child.  That includes dancing with joy, learning new things, looking at the world in wonder and awe, laughing and having fun just because, and yes, crying out to Daddy because we hurt or need help.

From Light for My Path – Prayers & Promises

Dear Lord, when a friend sees my distress and offers his support, my tendency is to wave him away and assure him that nothing is required from him.  I think I can take care of myself.  Father, I am also reluctant to pray about those burdens that I think I should be able to handle without Your help.  Help me realize that no matter how independent I may wish to be, I must come to You with a humble and contrite heart.  Forgive me for my attempts at self-sufficiency, and show me how to  accept help from others and from You.

In Jesus name, Amen.

Faith Check

Have you ever read much of the Old Testament?  The stories that fill that portion of the bible are overflowing with repeated incidences of amazing displays of complete lack of faith in God, no matter how much He had done prior to His request of the Israelites. 

The Book of Exodus alone has so many stories of doubt and fear it is an absolute miracle that the “chosen ones” ever made it out of Egypt.  One story in particular struck me today as I was studying, it was the parting of the Red Sea. 

Not the parting in and of itself, or the ranting and raging that the Israelite people did at Moses prior to God parting the waters.  I truly understand their feelings; I am not too sure that I wouldn’t have been extremely panicked myself if I had been facing a huge army coming at me at full speed to wipe us out.

What caught my eye was a verse after they had crossed and the Egyptian army had been obliterated by the Red Sea closing back down upon them.  In Chapter 14 of Exodus, the last verse of this chapter says something very interesting about the state of mind of the people of God.

“And when the Israelites saw the great power the Lord displayed against the Egyptians, the people feared (revered, respected) the Lord and put their trust in Him and in Moses His servant.”   Exodus 14:31  (Defining of feared mine)

Did you catch that?  It wasn’t until after they saw God wipe out the Egyptians that they decided to trust Him and that Moses was actually being used by Him.  They had just been through 10 plagues in Egypt.  Each one foretold by Moses if Pharaoh refused to let the Israelites go.  They survived the last one because Moses told them what to do after God gave him instructions.  They had been following a pillar of cloud and a pillar of fire.  The pillar moved as did the angel of the Lord and stood between them and the Egyptian army while the Red Sea did it’s thing.  Oh yeah, and the Red Sea parted before their very eyes.

They then walked across not on muddy, soggy ground, but on “dry ground”. with walls of water on their left and their right.  Yet, it wasn’t until the Lord caused those same watery walls to come crashing down and destroy the army that was pursuing them that they trusted that God was working on their behalf?  Seriously?

Of course, that is my first reaction.  That is often my first reaction to many of the stories of the Old Testament.  The difference is that I know the end of the story.  I wasn’t living it.

In my own faith story, I have done many of the same things that I shake my head in disbelief about when I think about the Israelites.  How many times has God worked a miracle in my life?  Yet, how often when the circumstances are not going as I would like do I make a big deal to Him and anyone else who will listen?

How many times do I take matters into my own hands and try to construct my own “golden calf” to get the money or whatever I need when I believe I need it rather than waiting for God? 

I looked at this passage again and thought “Yes, Lord.  I am guilty of doing the exact same thing.  Not trusting you until “after” I see my enemy dispatched no matter how much you have done for me leading up to that point.  I wonder, how much quicker would things happen if I just hold on to my trust and faith through it all no matter what?  What about you?  Do you think that it’s time to check your faith?

Let Daddy Take Care of It

Have you ever been wronged?  Of course you have.  Do you know what the bible says about what we are to do when someone treats us unjustly?  It says we are to do nothing against the person.  We are to be kind to them, bless them give them food to eat if they are hungry and something to drink if they are thirsty.  We are to let God vindicate us.  We are not to “defend” ourselves but to let Him do it.

I know that this way of thinking can be extremely difficult but think about it.  If you had a child that came to you one day and said that a bully had been roughing them up at school or just threatening them.  At first, you would give them advice as to how to deal with this unpleasant character, but if the situation escalated to the point that you felt that their safety was truly in danger you would tell them to step back and let you handle it.  You in your years of experience and wisdom would know a much better way to deal with this situation then your child.

If you use this same rationale with our situations and God it works out exactly the same way.  He knows a much better way to deal with the “bullies” in our lives than we do.  He will give us advice on how to deal with the circumstances to a point, and then He will say “Child stand back and let Me handle this.” 

There are many examples of this in the bible, one in particular is Daniel in the lions den.  He did not defend himself, he went through it, the lions mouths were shut up and the men who tried to have him executed were thrown into the lions den themselves.  The important thing to remember about God’s vindication is never, ever are we to gloat over another person’s misfortune no matter how much we think they deserve it.

There was a time in my life when I was very vindictive.  If you wronged me, I could come up with 14 ways from Sunday to get you back.  They would be so horrific that you would never consider messing with me again.  The thing is that on the other side of it I never felt better, I felt awful.  I always thought I would as I devised my “evil” scheme for retribution but it just didn’t turn out that way.  When I truly embraced my relationship with Christ and our Father I found that I couldn’t even devise these plans anymore, in fact it made me ill to even think about getting “even” with someone who had wronged me.  I had had a trued renewing of my mind.

The other thing that changed for me is that I found no solace when I heard that something bad had happened to them.  I felt terrible that they had had such ill fortune and prayed that God would use the circumstance to lead them to Him and Jesus, as well as help them to start living better lives.  This is truly what it is all about, not that a person has hurt us one way or another, but that we try to use every situation to bring another soul to the Lord.  These are cases where we can truly live out the scripture, “What was meant for evil God uses for good.”

So, when you feel hard pressed and put upon.  If you are being unjustly accused or attacked.  Ask the Lord to handle it for you.  Keep your motives righteous before Him by being loving in all you do and He will do what you never would have thought to do to take care of it.  You just keep standing firmly on the Rock of your salvation and let Daddy take care of it.

A Proverbs 31 Woman's Life: Biblical Fear = Respect

A Proverbs 31 Woman's Life: Biblical Fear = Respect: "I have had many non-Christian people ask me how a “loving” God could ask me to fear Him. That the bible is full of commandments to fea..."

Biblical Fear = Respect

I have had many non-Christian people ask me how a “loving” God could ask me to fear Him.  That the bible is full of commandments to fear Him.  They passionately explain to me how this cannot possibly be something a “loving” father would do to their child.  Most of these people are from broken homes, or abusive pasts.  Since I too suffered from an abusive history I understand their resistance to anyone telling them they have to fear them.

Let me explain the psychology behind this.  The number one thing that abuse creates is rebellion.  It will manifest itself in one form or another.  Some turn to drugs, alcohol or sexual promiscuity.  Others fighting, lying, or stealing.  Still others abuse others, repeating the cycle that was perpetrated on them.  The conduct is a way of numbing themselves from the pain that they are feeling, but it is also a way of striking out at the people who hurt them. 

It is usually their parents or parental figures who did the damage.  Children look to their parents for nurturing and love.  They give their parents their love naturally and expect it to be reciprocated.  When it is not they, first blame themselves for being bad human beings because obviously there must be something wrong with them because why else would their parent or parents reject them? Secondly, they start to act out in an effort to hurt back or rebel against the pain they are feeling.  This is often not a conscious premeditated reaction.  No, little Susie does not decide, “I think I will go out and have sex with every other guy in town so I can show Mom and Dad how much I resent them not validating my love for them!”  No, in actuality she would probably be mortified if she knew that was the real reason why she was behaving like that.

It took me a very long time to realize that so much of my behavior and destructive cycles were because of the neglect and abuse I had suffered in my past.  I had to humble myself and admit why I was behaving the way I was.  It has been a long, painful road to recovery and honestly I am still trudging down it everyday I get a little closer to healing.

So, to get back to what I was originally addressing.  For many of these people the term “Fear of God” was used while they were being abused.  Such as “I’ll put the fear of God in you!” while the belt or electric cord or board or whatever else, was being used to beat the child by the adult, was coming down.  There are no positive connotations for this person with this analogy.  This adult has misused God’s name for his or her own evil purposes and will have to deal with God about that some day.

You see the bible does speak about fearing God, but when it does it is speaking about respecting God and His power.  Like we respect the power of electricity.  Think about it.  If you were washing dishes and you needed to plug something in, would you reach over and grab the cord with your hands sopping wet and put it into the outlet?  Of course, not!  Why?  Because you “fear” or respect the power that electricity has.  You know that with wet hands and an electrical outlet there is a very real chance that you would get zapped.  You would dry your hands off first because you respect (fear) getting shocked.

This is the same translation we should be using when we think of the word fear in the bible when related to God.  Let’s look at a few scriptures and switch out the word fear for respect just for an example.  I’ll use the Psalms because it is full of just such verses.  I will put respect in parenthesis so you can see where I switched fear for respect.

Who, then, is the man that “respects” the Lord?  He will instruct him in the way chosen for him.  Psalm 25:12

The Lord confides in those who “respect” Him; He make His covenant known to them.  Psalm 25:14

Let all the earth “respect” the Lord; let all the people of the world revere Him.  Psalm 33:8

But the eyes of the Lord are on those who “respect” Him, on those whose hope is in His unfailing love,  Psalm 33:18

The angel of the Lord encamps around those who “respect” Him, and He deliver them,   Psalm 34:7

“Respect” the Lord, you His saints, for those who “respect” Him lack nothing.  Psalm 34:9

Come, my children, listen to me; I will teach you the “respect” of the Lord. (or to respect the Lord)  Psalm 34:11

Who knows the power of Your anger?  For Your wrath is as great as the “respect” that is due You.  Psalm 90:11

And now a few from Proverbs to finish out my point…

Do not be wise in your own eyes; “respect” the Lord and shun evil.  Proverbs 3:7

The “respect” of the Lord adds length to life, but the years of the wicked are cut short.  Proverbs 10:27

A wise man “respects” the Lord and shuns evil, but a fool is hotheaded and reckless.  Proverbs 14:16

He who “respects” the Lord has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge.  Proverbs 14:26

The “respect” of the Lord is a fountain of life, turning a man from the snares of death.  Proverbs 14:27

Better a little with the “respect” of the Lord than great wealth with turmoil.  Proverbs 15:16

The “respect” of the Lord teaches a man wisdom, and humility comes before honor.  Proverbs 15:33

Needless to say, there are so many others, but I am sure that you get the point.  Try it for yourself.  Read through the scriptures, if you don’t have a bible borrow one, and trade the word fear when it is used in relation to our interaction with God with respect and see if you sense something a bit different. 

God does not want us to FEAR Him, He wants us to respect Him as any good parent would.  Respect is not something you automatically get, but you earn by showing how much you love and respect the person first.  If God sending Jesus here to suffer and then die such a horrific death for us was not evidence of His love for us and the fact that He deserves our respect I’m not sure what is. 

He created us to love Him and each other, and that has been corrupted by Satan.  It has been warped but that doesn’t mean it can’t be straightened back out.  We just have to seek Him and He’ll show us how.  How do I know, the bible tells me so.

One Thing Never Changes

Hello again, my dear old friends.  It has been so long since I have written here.  Well over 2 months and I have felt the distance everyday.  I have missed my readers and I pray that I will be able to get back to blogging on a daily basis again.  This all depends on His hand moving or staying circumstances within my life.

No matter what the circumstances, the one thing I have learned over time and has become abundantly clear to me is that God is the only thing in life that never ever changes.  I may change my mind, clients may change their terms, but He will never change who He is.  If He made me a promise 20 years ago, it will come to pass.  Isn’t that amazing!  Do you have something that God promised you a long time ago?  Perhaps, it is something you have forgotten about and when it didn’t come to pass in the time frame that you felt it should you figured you had either heard Him wrong or He had changed His mind.  Not so my sister or brother, it just hasn’t been the right time yet.

What do I mean by that?  Remember the Israelites in the wilderness?  It took them 40 years to make an 11 day trip.  Why?  Because, they were never ready to step into the promised land.  It was not that God wasn’t going to fulfill the promise He had made to His children, it was just that their hearts were not in the right place to receive it.  They were full of unbelief and rebellion.  If you give a child what they want, even if you have promised it, when they are behaving poorly what will be the result?  You will be reinforcing the poor behavior and they will act even worse.  With no consequences for bad acts we dig ourselves deeper into the pit of mistakes never realizing that we need to put down the shovel.  Only by denying us what we desire most until we have humbled ourselves before Him do we step into the fullness of His blessings.

Go back and read over Exodus,Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy and you will see what I am talking about.  Even Moses got a little besides himself and knocked himself out of the running to enter into the promised land.  This is unfortunately what can happen if you hang around people with the wrong mindset for too long.  You start to behave like them without even realizing it.

Do not give up on your promised blessing.  It is still waiting in the wings to come out on the stage of your life.  Our God, our Father who never changes is just waiting for you and I to get to the place that we can handle what He has for us so that He doesn’t have to take it away again.  Instead of looking at the fact that you haven’t received, look at what you are or aren’t doing that is keeping you from receiving and start there.  You’ll then have to do the hard part of sacrificing your bad attitude on the altar.  However, after you have done that you can get ready for the amazing blessings that were promised to you, no matter how long ago it was.  That’s what faith is about and keeping the faith means staying steady in all seasons.

Blessings my siblings,

Cyn