Friday, July 15, 2011

Words Have Power


Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce righteousness that God desires.  Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. (James 1:19-21)

When we are angry with someone we so often just speak what we are "feeling".  We do not think about the words coming out of our mouths.  In fact, when we listen we tend to hear with a kind of filter attached.  What gets through has our personal experience whitewashed over the top of it.  Old scars, often are reopened as word that are not meant to harm but express are used by the enemy, at times, to get us to feel we are right back in that old situation again.

If we have been  mistreated or abused as a child, it often is not the person we are interacting with at the moment that is getting the brunt of our response, it is the memory of the authority figure who subjected the defenseless child that you are shooting the word bullets at.  Unfortunately, the person, often your spouse, that you are having the disagreement with is not privy to the past circumstance that you are trying to continually rectify.  Even if they are, they may be going through the same situation themselves.  This can just add fuel to the word sparing fire.

When we want to truly communicate, even in secular circles, the first rule is we must listen without any thought of what we are to say in return.  To do this we must not think about ourselves.  All defenses must be turned off.  We must die to ourselves and put the other person's welfare first.  Jesus showed us first hand that nothing is more important than sacrificing all we are for the sake of benefiting others. 

When we take our vows, traditional vows during the marriage ceremony one of the statements is "forsaking all others".  That means we are to put our spouse even before ourselves.  When we have those "arguments" how are we putting them before our personal agenda, if we are willing to hurt them to "win". 

To maintain our composure during these times we must rely on the Holy Spirit to download into us all the fruits of the Spirit as spoken of in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.  Everything it speaks of is what God is; He is love.  So He is patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast, is not proud, does not dishonor us, He is never self-seeking, is not easily angered, He keeps no records of wrong.  He does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth.  He always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  He never fails....  This requires that our self-control be maintained by God-control, not our own power. 

Know that in all of this we will make mistakes, we will slip, but we can repent and know that we can be forgiven.  If we are the one who has been hit with the words, then be ready to accept that repentance.  For as we forgive we will be forgiven.  According to Matthew 6:14-15 Jesus was very clear about this, For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.  He said this right after giving us the Lord's prayer which states, "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us", Matthew 6:12.  The dictionary defines trespass as "to commit an offense or a sin; transgress or err."

Pray for the Lord to give you full use of His spiritual gifts so that you may have power over your words, instead of letting words having power over you.  Words have power to build up or tear down.  It is why Proverbs tells us that life and death are in the power of the tongue, see Proverbs 18:21.   This can mean the difference between restored relationships and destroyed families.  

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